Have you ever wished you could redo a conversation, a meeting, an encounter? Have you ever had the PERFECT response dawn on you the day AFTER you had a tough conversation?

I’ve just read through the tiny book of James again and, as always, I was struck by his sincere concern for the “twelve tribes scattered among the nations.” He began by acknowledging their suffering and encouraging them to persevere. He reminded them of the subsequent reward for their faithfulness and the assurance that God is more than sufficient for their circumstances. He assured them that it would lead them to become “mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

James was a born leader. He would have been a very competent CEO, showing empathy, encouragement, expectations, warnings, and reassurance. In business school we are taught to approach others using the “hamburger theory” – that is, begin with the positive (the soft bun on top), followed by correction (the meat in the middle), and ending with more positive (the soft bun on the bottom). That is exactly what James did. In fact, he left them with the promise that they had the potential to “turn sinners from the error of their way and save them from death.” That is genuine, artful motivation.

BUT the part of the book that spoke to me, that yelled at me, that screamed my name was this:

James 1:19 …Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…

Okay, he’s got my attention. I am completely GUILTY of trying to offer quick responses, of waiting for someone else to finish what they are saying so that I may add my (always ready) opinion to the conversation. (The angry part I don’t have a problem with, but I’m still batting a low .333 here.)

James’ advice has become my mantra and I live my life behind internal reminders to follow it. When I head for a meeting, a rehearsal, a concert, a church service, I pray aloud during the drive, “Lord, please help me to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and quick to build up…” (I added the last one). It saves me from sleepless worry that I failed to show compassion or to convey my accurate perspective. It reminds me to make sure that I hear someone’s true heart, and that I focus on their strengths.

These 14 words from the first martyred apostle still ring loudly in 2024. They are more relevant today than ever in our culture, in our homes, in our relationships. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry….”

That’s way better than a hamburger!